I reached out to Sasha during one of the most challenging times in my life. My mother was dying. Slowly fading away from cancer. It was unbearably hard and painful to accept that my mom was leaving, that I couldn’t change anything, and that I had no idea what to do. There was confusion, pain, and fear.

It was difficult to find support from family or friends—I didn’t want to let anyone from my circle into such a vulnerable, intimate, delicate space. Sasha and I had several video calls. I came to the first one expecting ready-made solutions — instructions or frameworks I could rely on. I wanted to know exactly what to do during the dying process, to foresee everything and avoid mistakes… That was my initial request.

I believed that if I did everything 'right,' it would somehow be easier. My focus was entirely on actions, not emotions or feelings. Sasha gently brought me back to the question: 'How am I right now?' The following sessions were dedicated to the process of experiencing. What was I feeling? Did I have the energy that day? What important things did I want to say? Was I taking care of myself and replenishing my resources?

I suddenly realized that asking for help is normal. That hiring a caregiver isn’t about 'abandoning a dying mother to a stranger' but about caring for her through taking care of myself. I learned that, no matter how much I prepare, death isn’t an exam to pass. It’s a natural process, and 99% of the time, it won’t go according to 'my plan.' Letting go of control without guilt became crucial.
The final session, after my mom’s passing, was especially meaningful. We talked through the events and emotions I had experienced, reconstructing the narrative. This was incredibly valuable. The story in my mind had been filled with guilt — 'I should have done it differently,' or "If I had done something else, then…(followed by idealized versions of events)". We revisited the night of her passing, re-lived it, and shifted the focus from 'should have' to "I honestly did everything I could, I acted out of love, and that’s what matters most".

To me, Sasha is a gateway to a space of love.
She is someone deeply connected to you, empathizing, joining, understanding. And at the same time, she sees more clearly and broadly. She helps you exhale the pain from your heart and fill it with light and love. Through your loving perspective, death becomes sacred, wise, beautiful, and natural.

Sasha, I wholeheartedly thank you for helping me piece myself back together into a whole person, for giving me the opportunity to openly discuss the topic of death—first within an organized space and then beyond, with my loved ones. From there, I began to speak not only about death but also about other avoided topics — openly, sincerely and carefully, while maintaining resilience.

Thank you for allowing me to reflect on my own passing, rituals, and to explore what would matter most to me at the moment of dying and during my funeral. I am also grateful for the chance to meet incredible people like Lena Degtyar and Yulia Shpadi, whom I deeply respect, as well as others who were part of this meaningful experience.

The practicum was truly invaluable, giving me so much already, and I know it will continue to reveal more with time. Thank you for introducing me to you.

I haven't fully processed or integrated it yet, but the impact has been profound. First and foremost, it changed how I feel about my own life — as if, during the course, I accomplished grieving my own mortality and came out of it in full acceptance. It allowed me to rethink my values and begin restructuring my life.

Relationships. Oh, God bless the Authentic Relating method! ;) My relationships with loved ones reached a new level — they became more open, deeper, more accepting. I felt a closeness I had been seeking for so long. And it emerged despite our differences. My existential loneliness has quieted down a bit ;)

Professional field. It was eye-opening to understand what it truly means to be a doula and to adopt the doula approach. You explained everything so clearly and helped us feel it firsthand, as if you opened a treasure chest. My bodywork sessions have reached an entirely new level. And I now feel a sense of sufficiency as a specialist (I used to always feel a bit “not enough”.

My mother is ill. Dementia is rapidly causing the cells in her brain to die. There is practically nothing that can be done. I’m almost 40, and I thought I could handle everything. Unfortunately, I couldn’t. I reached out to Alexandra simply because I didn’t know what else to do. I was at a dead end. My mom was fading, and I was terrified of her impending death while my own life felt shattered.

I have a complex personality and find it hard to trust people. But from the first session, I trusted Sasha for two reasons—she is honest and an excellent specialist. That’s enough for me.

Together, we slowly navigate this difficult process. Thanks to our work, I haven’t lost my mind from grief and despair. I even allowed myself to feel moments of joy. My mom is fading, but I’m no longer alone in this challenging journey. There’s still so much to do — or perhaps not do. And that’s okay… It’s normal not to be an iron lady.

I feel warm knowing I’m in safe hands. When someone is leaving, it’s incredibly important to maintain their quality of life and care for yourself, too. There can’t be sacrifices here; the feelings of everyone involved are important. For me, self-care is having consultations with a death doula.

I’m still afraid, but I’m no longer alone.

Thank youuuuuuu! From my heart — now so warm and comforted by these past days.
This experience was incredibly important to me. It allowed me to let flow through my fingers what had already been within me, waiting to be heard. To touch it. Sasha, thank you for the practicum and for your ambassadorship of death.

It feels as though, by recognizing death, life is freed from the 'dead' parts within it — time wasted, numbed feelings, silenced dreams. Life and death find their rightful places. Thank you for being you. I feel so warm right now.

Thank you so much to all the organizers! Sasha, Yulia, Lena, and Slava — you bring so much heart to the work you do, and it’s so important. I took away a tremendous number of valuable insights to use as a psychologist. I also reached one of the deepest realizations of my life and came closer to accepting my own mortality and that of others. Wishing you continued success and inspiration in your work!

Working with a death doula is different. I can feel the contrast between how I processed my father’s death three years ago and how I am now experiencing the death of my mother, who passed away five months ago.

Every consultation was a space of acceptance, support, and safety. Sasha asks questions that, in that exact moment, open doors I needed to walk through. Sasha’s ability to remain silent is also powerful — it provides a sense of grounding.

With Sasha, I wasn’t afraid to venture into the darkest caves of my fears. And no matter how much we talked about death, we always ended up discussing life. After each consultation, I felt like I had spotted a lighthouse in a stormy sea.

I always smiled after a session and chose to keep living. This transformation — from despair and fear to hope, faith, and love — is incredible.

I am profoundly grateful for these meetings; they were life-changing. I absolutely plan to continue working with Sasha and recommend her to anyone experiencing loss.

The most valuable parts of the training were: a foundation in Authentic Relating; the balance between your lightness and dark humor, between giving and receiving; clear structure, timing, and horizontal relationships.

Without these, the course wouldn’t have made sense to me. I have a medical degree earned through blood, sweat, and tears. I laughed sadly imagining a 'Department of Self-Care and Authentic Communication' at medical school.

Your care for us and yourselves is exactly the quality that made this training so meaningful to me.

Knowing that there are guides to death in life is a tremendous support. To work with a death doula and share my deepest fears was a great privilege for me. I was lucky, my luck had snow white smile and ocean-like eyes and was called Sasha.

During our session, I discussed my fear of death—my own and my loved ones'. I have a one-year-old son and a beloved husband. I’ve been involved in various practices, teach yoga, and have tested my consciousness in many ways. The most recent challenge was COVID, during which the insights from my consultation with Sasha were incredibly helpful.

To fear is normal; to die is normal. I can prepare myself and my loved ones to minimize shock and trauma, leave behind a meaningful memoir of my life, and continue my journey with a light heart. In Sasha’s presence, I felt safe and warm, able to discuss the most vulnerable topics, cry out my pain, and open doors in the darkness.

What are consultations with you about? I think it’s different for everyone.

For me, the most valuable aspect is the format of these consultations. I imagine cosmic whales — one whale is me, the other is Sasha. Based on my request, we gently, carefully, and smoothly swim somewhere. Slowly, just like whales do. Without any limitations on where we can end up.

It feels incredibly safe, even when we have to swim through utter darkness. I am deeply grateful to you, Sasha, for the sense of reliability, safety, and support that you bring to our consultations. They provide me with an anchor when I feel like there is none.

This is an incredibly important practice and a supportive space. Insights: Having resources and a safe space allows for processing multiple losses at once. Over time, the distance from grief grows, and relationships with grieving evolve. Grief work is a skill. Maturity comes with experiencing and processing losses. Preparing for an upcoming loss is part of grieving and can sometimes be even more intense than the grief after the loss itself.

Sasha, I want to share a review of our consultations. Initially, I didn’t understand why I needed them but felt that I did.

I was surprised to discover how much our meetings about death were actually about life. You often talk about this, but it was in contact with you that I truly saw, heard, and felt it.
Afterward, I spent a long time reflecting on my life — the decisions I’ve made, the events that have happened, and how they’ve shaped my journey. I realized that my life’s path is absolutely unique.

I remembered your words about how you could make a movie about anyone’s life.
I don’t know how you manage to see life so vividly. Maybe it’s because of your regular contact with death. It’s as if you wipe the accumulated dust off the lens through which people view life. Then, they begin to notice things they’ve long forgotten—or perhaps never noticed.

The sun becomes brighter, trees greener, and diamonds transform into brilliant gems.
Sasha, thank you for everything. Since I started following your blog (October 2020), so much has changed within me. Thank you .

I started consulting with Sasha after losing my father, to help me process his passing more easily. He had cancer, stage 4, and we managed to extend his life by six months.
But I could never have imagined the degree of support Sasha could provide. She offered practical, applicable knowledge about the grieving process, emotional support, empathy, and a space of trust.

In Russian-speaking community, it’s not customary to discuss death, even with the terminally ill. I saw how my family avoided conversations about what was coming for my dad. That’s why Sasha’s work is phenomenal — normalizing the topic of death and conversations about it allows us to focus more on living.

Working with Sasha helped me deeply process difficult emotional states and come to a new understanding of how to move forward with life.

What’s particularly valuable is that Sasha doesn’t focus solely on death. When I went to her for our first meeting, I feared that’s all we’d talk about. But Sasha’s vision and approach are so holistic and gentle that there’s no artificial separation between death and life.

For me, the miracle of working with Sasha is that every time, I realize my initial request runs far deeper than I thought. We’ve addressed perinatal loss, fear of death, and the deaths of other loved ones. I’m grateful to have someone I can explore this with.

I’m thrilled! I didn’t want to attend at first. I asked to change my participation from the previous practicum to this one. The day before, I decided to give up my spot to someone else, but everyone I asked declined.

The recent events in the world and my family had left me drained, feeling like I couldn’t handle such profound, demanding events. But I didn’t regret attending for a single minute!
This practicum is inspiring. The exercises are so powerful — they push you to reevaluate your entire life. Thank you.